There are 5 things I wanna tell you right now. All of which is not I love you.

I was vulnerable. I am not sure of what I want in the future. All I know is I have you, the shoulder I wanna lean on. You saw this girl is helpless so you saw that opportunity. Not to take advantage, but to show who you really are. That caring person who everyone else think was crazy. We built our future as if we know what's happening tomorrow. You always include me into planning however, I was completely out of my mind all the time. I was careless and I  always felt like you were joking. Not until now. Now that I realized you were not kidding. I knew it because you are living that dream.

Thank you for seeing the person behind all this mess.  The person that needed fixing. The person who loves people that are so hard to love. The person who loved that loser  who always have something funny to say. I appreciate you. Everything they say won't matter because you have faith in me. You believed in me even if they thought otherwise. You chose me, and right now, to be completely honest, I don't know why.

We went out of sync and I know, it shouldn't end like that. I should've supported you every step of the way. I should've expressed myself correctly so you'd know I care about you too, not the other way around. I should've taken you seriously and now I regret it. I regret that I was unable to appreciate this mere presence that is keeping me warm through winter.

I want you to know that the last time I saw you, I should've asked you if you're so sure on what you're about to do. I wanna embrace you so I'd remember that time over and over and that way, my pillows are not so wet right now. I should've said I miss you too. I missed you so bad that I wanna book that flight just to be with you. I should've had the courage to ask you to stay so you won't get lost along the way.

I didn't do it. Cause I know, this is not how I'd fight for my soulmate. I know it should be easier than this. I know that God won't allow this to happen if you're the one.  I know He's got greater plans. Yes, I must admit I think of you from time to time. I think of you when I feel alone. I think you you when life's a total BS. I think of you whenever I feel like it's me against the world. By then, I remember all of the good things you've done. All of the things that made me smile and laugh soooo hard. I remember that there's more to life than this. All of the success I've had after you would've been sweeter only if you're there beside me. I don't know if I still love you, because now, I am happy for you and most especially, I'm happy for me. Thank you. Ciao.